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  book review

We will regularly update this list of books which IPN members have found helpful as adjuncts to issues discussed in therapy. We believe that self-help books are most helpful when read in conjunction with the support of a competent psychotherapist.

Books Reviews are listed below by topic.

ADOLESCENCE
ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLICS
ANGER CONTROL
ANXIETY DISORDERS
ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER
BIPOLAR DISORDER
BATTERED WOMEN
CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY
CHILD ABUSE
CHRONIC ILLNESS
CO-DEPENDENCY ISSUES
COMMUNICATION
CREATIVITY
DEATH & DYING
DEPRESSION
DIVORCE
EATING DISORDERS
EMOTIONAL ABUSE
FINANCES
GAY AND LESBIAN ISSUES
GERONTOLOGY
GRIEF
HOMEWORK
INSOMNIA

INTERNET ADDICTION
LEARNING DISABILITY
LIFE TRANSITIONS

LISTENING
MARRIAGE
MEDITATION
MEN'S ISSUES
MENOPAUSE
MIND/BODY
NARCISSISM
OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER
PARENTING
PROCRASTINATION
PSYCHOTHERAPY
RAPE
RELATIONSHIPS
RELOCATION
SELF-ESTEEM
SELF MUTILATION
SEXUALITY
SEXUAL MOLESTATION AND INCEST
STRESS REDUCTION
WOMEN'S ISSUES
VOCATIONAL


ADOLESCENCE

Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul:
101 Stories of Life, Love and Learning

Chicken Soup for the Teenage Soul II:
101 More Stories of Life, Love and Learning

edited by Jack Canfield, Mark Victor Hanson, Kimberly Kirberger

Teenagers are enthralled by these two books. The stories touch them on a deep level. They will read them over and over again. They often read them outloud to families and friends. The book contains the stories of teenagers who share their thoughts and feelings about love, friendship, hard times, and lessons to be learned. Because there is no adult voice telling them what to do, the teens seem to be able to grasp the lessons of the stories without needing to resist adult influence.

Reviving Ophelia: Saving the Selves of Adolescent Girls
by Mary Pipher, Ph.D.

Dr. Pipher describes how girls go through a transformation in adolescence, influenced by the media and culture we live in, that causes them to suppress their emerging sense of self and leaves them without the self- confidence needed to live up to their creative and intellectual potential.

When Growing Up Hurts Too Much: What to Do When Your Adolescent Needs Help
by Scott O. Harris, Ph.D. & Ed Reynolds, Ph.D.

A guide for parents to identify frequent problems of teenagers, understand them better, and know when to seek professional help. Step-by-step suggestions for searching for therapy when needed, as well as being more effective as parents.

Identity: Youth and Crisis (Austen Riggs Monograph, No 7)
by Erik Homburger Erikson
W.W. Norton & Company; Reissue edition (May 1994)

Erik Erikson is one of the primary analysts examining adolescent development. He coined the phrase "Identity Crisis" which has become a part of our language. This is not a self help book, but it explores the issues of adolescence in depth and provides one of the best and most thorough analyses of this phase of development that has been written. Most psychotherapists treating adolescents and their families have this book on their bookshelf. It is very clear and readable, with minimal technical language.

How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk: 20th Anniversary Edition
by Adele Faber & Elaine Mazlish, Avon (October 1999)

Although this is primarily focused on children rather than adolescents, the suggestions and exercises are appropriate for parents of adolescents as well. Cartoons help parents see the lighter side, helping to relieve some of the stress. It uses a reasoned approach in helping parents to learn how to communicate with children--to be direct, clear, but also respectful. All of these qualities are so important for parents, but they can easily be lost when one is angry and frustrated.

Between Parent and Teenager
by Haim G. Ginott, Avon; Reissue edition (November 1988)

Dr. Ginott gives one of the clearest windows into the adolescent mind that has been written, translating for parents the deeper reasons behind what adolescents say and do. This is probably one of the first self-help book, after Dr. Spock, and one of the best. His insights are moving and ring true, and he is also respectful of the difficulties of being a parent and an adolescent.

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ADULT CHILDREN OF ALCOHOLIC ISSUES

It Will Never Happen to Me
by Claudia Black M.S.W.

This was one of the first books to identify the problems faced by individuals who grew up in home with one or more alcoholic parent. Claudia Black grew up in such a family and understands first hand the consequences for children and adults of having to live with parents who could not really adequately handle the responsibilities of parenthood because of their addiction.

Adult Children of Alcoholics
by Janet Geringer Woititz

This best selling book describes the characteristics of individuals who grow up with alcoholic parents. It discusses how the skills learned to cope with a dysfunctional family may hinder individuals in their adult lives.

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ANGER CONTROL

When Anger Hurts: Quieting the Storm Within
by Matthew Mckay, Ph.D., Peter D. Rogers, Ph.D. and Judith McKay, R.N.

This self-help book describes what anger is, how it is used and what types of assumptions and beliefs perpetuate angry responses. It gives practical suggestions for changing triggering thought, stopping escalation using healthy self-talk, and making more effective choices to avoid angry outbursts.

The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing Patterns of Intimate Relationships
by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

Dr. Lerner describes the causes and patterns that lead to ineffective ways of dealing with anger. By changing the way woman deal with anger, she believes that women can make positive and lasting changes in their relationships and in their sense of themselves. She explains the difficulties women have in dealing with anger in themselves and in others.

Honor Your Anger; How Transforming Your Anger Style Can Change Your Life
By Beverly Engel, Published 2004. John Wiley & Sons.

Anger is a normal and healthy emotion, but when it's not expressed in direct and appropriate ways it can become a disruptive and destructive force. This book presents a proven, step-by-step process that will help readers discover their own "anger style", identify its impact on life, and learn to use anger as a force for positive change.

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ANXIETY DISORDERS

The Anxiety and Phobia Workbook
by K. Edmund J. Bourne and Edmound J. Bourne

A practical self-help book that describes what to do to overcome anxieties and phobias with step-by-step suggestions and exercises.

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ATTENTION DEFICIT HYPERACTIVITY DISORDER

Driven to Distraction, Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood through Adulthood
by Edward M. Hallowell, M.D. and John J. Ratey, M.D.

A rich resource for anyone wanting to educate themselves about this disorder. The content is comprehensive and the writing style easy to understand. The doctors describe through vivid stories the experiences of their patients and show the many forms that ADD can take.

Ritalin Free Kids
by Judith Reichenberg-Ullman and Robert Ullman
Rocklin, Ca. Prima Publishing. 1996

This book may provide a very good alternative to Ritalin because the remedy can be tailored specifically to each unique child and is helpful for children dealing with behavioral problems other than hyperactivity and inattention.

ADD/ADHD Behavior-Change Resource Kit
by Grad L. Flick, Ph.D.
West Nyack, N.Y., The Center for Applied Research in Education. 1998

This is a comprehensive resource book that explains what ADHD is and how to help children with this disorder learn to control and change the problem behaviors associated with it. It includes a detailed set of training exercises and programs for teachers, counselors and parents.

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BIPOLAR DISORDER

The Unquiet Mind: A Memoir or Moods and Madness
by Kay Redfield Jamison

Kay Jamison is both a healer and a sufferer of bipolar disorder. Her absorbing memoir describes the vicissitudes of the illness and her struggle to understand and gain control of her life and the disorder that at times threatened to destroy her.

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BATTERED WOMEN

When Men Batter Women: New Insights Into Ending Abusive Relationships
by Neil Jacobson, Ph.D. and John Gottman, Ph.D.

A recent book that uses the research of these University of Washington scientists to back up their conclusions about men who batter. The authors describe the different types of batterers and how women can prepare themselves to leave them.

New Beginnings: A Creative Writing Guide for Women Who Have Left Abusive Relationships
by Sharon Doane, M.S.W.

There is much healing to be done after a women leaves an abusive relationship. This book includes three instructive sections to help a woman through the process: 1. Finding Safety: Identifying What You Need to Be Physically Safe; 2. What Happened: Remembering, Grieving, Letting Go; and 3. Moving On: Finding Out What You Really Want for Yourself. The author encourages deep reflection and suggests using journalizing to aid in recovery.

The Battered Woman
by Lenore E. Walker

Walker uses case studies to trace the cycle of abuse. She explores the common myths and the frightening reality of battering. Then she provides important information on interventions to escape the abusive relationship and recover from the devastating consequences.

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CHEMICAL DEPENDENCY

The Recovery Book
by Al J. Mooney M.D., Arlene Eisenberg and Howard Eisenberg

The Recovery Book is a comprehensive approach to understanding drug and alcohol addiction. It delineates how to get sober, how to change your life in order to stay sober and how to use the support and encouragement of self-help groups, family, friends and treatment programs to maintain sobriety.

Understanding the Twelve Steps
by Terence T. Gorski

This practical guide to understanding the Twelve Steps presents an easy to understand explanation of what they mean and how to practice them. The language is simple and the concrete examples help to demystify the process. For anyone going through the Twelve Step process and for those contemplating using the Twelve Steps to aid in their recovery from addiction.

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CHILD ABUSE

A Bright Red Scream
by Marilee Strong

The book is subtitled, "Self-Mutilation and the Language of Pain," which reflects that it is about cutters, people who self-injure, who purposefully cut, burn, or otherwise hurt themselves. However, it is much more about the pain than the self-mutilation. The classic scenario described as stimulating such emotions is one of physical or sexual child abuse, but Strong makes clear that other circumstances can also be just destructive. This excellent book is about anyone who grew up with emotional pain that was too deep and too powerful to tolerate.

Child Sexual Abuse; Young Men Surviving
By Andrew Durham, PhD, "International Journal of Adolescent Medical Health." SC. 2003. John Wiley & Sons

Describes the authors research on seven young men who were sexually abused as children, presenting extensive narrative that lets them understand how and why the abuse has had a harmful long-term impact on their lives. "...An important book for...(anyone) working with children or adolescents..."

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CHRONIC ILLNESS

These books address the issues so often associated with having a chronic illness. They are a stepping stone to better coping skills and better communication with doctors regarding symptoms. They can help an individual to learn how to lessen blame and connect with others who have similar experiences with chronic illness.

In Search of the Sun: How to Cope with Chronic Illness
by H. Aladjem, New York: Macmillan, 1988

A Positive Program to Pain Control
by S.D. Bender and K. Kelleher, Tucson: Body Press, 1986

Sick and Tired of Being Sick and Tired: Living with Invisible Chronic Illness
by P.J. Donoghue and M.E. Siegel, New York: Norton and Co., 1992

This book has a comprehensive appendix with references, support groups and associations.

We Are Not Alone; Learning to Live with Chronic Illness
by S.K. Pitzele, New York: Workman, 1987

Living with Chronic Illness: Days of Patience and Passion
by C. Register New York: Free Press, 1987

This book has a comprehensive appendix with references, support groups and associations.

Kitchen Table Wisdom: Stories That Heal
by R.N. Remen, New York: The Berkley 1994

This book was written by a doctor with a chronic illness. It is recommended for soothing the soul and lifting the spirits of anyone with a chronic illness.

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CO-DEPENDENCY ISSUES

Co-Dependency No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Caring for Yourself
by Melodie Beattie

The most popular book for spouses and loved ones of people who are addicted to substances. Describes the need that some individuals have to take care of others at their own expense and the delusion that somehow they can change or control another person's behavior.

True Selves; Twelve-Step Recovery from Codependency
by Roseann Lloyd and Merle Fossum

These authors first describe and then seek to offer a solution for codependency. They believe that codependents have lost their true selves and have stopped living for themselves. They offer advice based on the twelve step program, used originally by Alcoholics Anonymous, on how to regain the self and begin living for yourself rather than for others.

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COMMUNICATION

THE SEVEN HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE:
Powerful Lessons in Personal Change

By Stephen R. Covey

Although this book was first published in 1989, it has remained on the bestseller lists all these years, attracting both business people and those seeking changes in personal beliefs, paradigms, and relationships.

Habit #5 speaks to “Seeking First to Understand, then to be Understood.” Covey observes that few people have training in listening. Most people don’t listen; they want to talk. But how can one discover “win/win” solutions, as Covey states it, if they aren’t listening to the other person? The author also suggests not putting one’s personal autobiography into the lives of other people. Listening shouldn’t be selective; nor should we only pretend to listen to others.

Covey writes: “Communication experts estimate… that only 10% of our communication is represented by the words we say. Another 30% is represented by sounds (like chortle, chortle, grunt, grunt) and 60% by our body language. In empathic listening, you listen with your ears, but you also listen with your heart. You listen for feeling, for meaning. You listen for behavior. You use your right brain as well as your left. You sense, you intuit, you feel”.

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CREATIVITY

Uncommon Genius: Tracing the Creative impulse with Forty Winners of the MacArthur Award
by Denise Shekerjian
New York: Viking Press, 1990

A good book for highly creative people. It will encourage them to stay on track and not give up on their creative ideas.

The Artist's Way; A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity
by Julia Cameron

Julia Cameron has written a how to book for aspiring and working artists who wish to recover their creativity from a variety of blocks, including limiting beliefs, fear, self-sabotage, jealousy, guilt, addictions and other inhibiting forces. She describes a twelve-week program that links creativity to spirituality and provides exercises and activities that encourage imagination and inspiration.

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DEATH & DYING

At Home with Dying: A Zen Hospice Approach
by Merrill Collett (Shambhala)

This is a comprehensive and sensitive book on how to be with those who are dying.

The Good Death
by Marilyn Webb (Bantam)

A fine overview of death and dying issues, with suggestions for how to navigate the medical establishment to create an uplifted environment for the dying and their families.

The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying
by Sogyal Rinpoche (Harper Collins)

A manual for life and death and a magnificent source of sacred inspiration from the heart of the Tibetan tradition.

The Troubled Dream of Life: In Search of a Peaceful Death
by Daniel Callahan (Simon and Schuster)

Examines the current medical approach to death and calls for respect of the dying process and the individual going through it.

Making Sense of Life's Changes
By William Bridges (Addison Wesley)

A helpful and accessible book on facing change and coping with difficulties, death and grief.

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DEPRESSION

Listening to Prozac: A Psychiatrist Explores Antidepressant Drugs and the Remaking of the Self
by Peter D. Kramer

A book for lay people about the way the new antidepressants work. The author does an excellent job of describing the changes in drug treatment for depression and the possibilities these new drugs offer to individuals who suffer from depression. A cautionary note-there may be a somewhat more hype than reality as to how much relief these drugs can give to people with various psychological problems.

Talking Back to Prozac
by Peter R. Breggin,M.D.

A look at the real story behind this current drug, offering information about side effects,possible addiction, and history of FDA approval. This is the other side of the biochemical debate, as the author is a medical critic of biological psychiatry.

What to Do When Someone You Love is Depressed
by Mitch Golant, Ph.D. & Susan K. Golant

Helpful for the caregiver of someone depressed with straightforward information about how to identify depression, how to be of help, medication and treatment options, and more life threatening issues such as suicide. In addition to explanations and descriptions, Dr. Golant includes many personal anecdotes about his experiences with a depressed mother. Readable, informative, and immediately of help.

When Growing Up Hurts Too Much: What to Do When Your Adolescent Needs Help
Scott O. Harris, Ph.D. & Ed Reynolds, Ph.D. 1992

A guide for parents to identify frequent problems of teenagers, understand them better, and know when to seek professional help. Included are step-by-step suggestions for searching for therapy when needed. There are also helpful suggestions for being a more effective parent.

Dealing with Depression Naturally
By Syd Baumel

In this updated and expanded edition, the author takes a compassionate look at depression, its symptoms, causes, and the many options available for treatment, both traditional and non-traditional. It is an outstanding compilation of drug-free treatments for most depressions.

 

THE MINDFUL WAY THROUGH DEPRESSION: Freeing Yourself From Chronic Unhappiness
By Mark Williams, John Teasdale, Zindel Segal, and Jon Kabat-Zinn

This self-help book offers invaluable practical strategies for healing depression, as well as being a guide to achieve emotional balance. Through insightful lessons drawn from both Eastern meditative traditions and cognitive therapy, they help us avoid the mental habits such as rumination and self-blame that lead to despair. The bonus with this book is a CD of guided meditations led by Jon Kabat-Zinn.

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DIVORCE

Surviving the Breakup: How Children and Parents Cope with Divorce
by Judith Wallerstein and Joan Berlin Kelly

A definitive book on the subject of divorce by research professors who has been studying the effects of divorce for over two decades. They describe the different effects of divorce on men, women and the children involved.

Second Chances: Men, Women and Children a Decade After Divorce
by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakelee

The second book describing results of divorce on the same population studied originally now ten years later. They have some revealing insights into the long term consequences of divorce.

Getting Divorced without Ruining Your Life
by Sam Margulies, Ph.D., J.D.

A book to help you through the emotional, legal and financial aspects of divorce. It advocates a reasonable and conciliatory approach that avoids the trauma and contentiousness that can have a devastating effect on those involved.

The Good Divorce; Keeping Your Family Together When Your Marriage Comes Apart
by Constance Ahrons

Dr. Ahrons is a professor at the University of Southern California and has written extensively on the subject of divorce. Her book provides for the reader a sane direction for charting the course of a divorce so that the separating couple and the children involved will emerge without the lasting trauma that often accompanies divorce.

How To Survive the Loss of a Love
by Melba Colgrove, Ph.D., Harold Bloomfield, M.D. and Peter McWilliams

A easy to read self-help book to help people through the sadness and pain of the loss of a love. It reads like a book of meditations.

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EATING DISORDERS

The Best Little Girl in the World
by Steven Levenkron

A fictionalized account of a teenager with anorexia nervosa. The book is absorbing reading and describes graphically the heartache and struggles that can be part of this disorder.

Bulimia; A Guide to Recovery
by Lindsey Hall and Leigh Cohn

This book is both a story of the author's struggle with bulimia and a guide to understanding and dealing with the disorder. It offers answers to often-asked questions about bulimia and provides suggestions to stop bingeing. It is a useful adjunct to recovery.

Inner Eating: How to Free Yourself Forever from the Tyranny of Food
by Shirley Billigmeier

A book about how to eat sensibly without dieting. This book describes how to eat according to your body signals rather than counting calories or restricting food intake. Since it is now well known that dieting doesn't work, this new way of dealing with food and eating can be especially helpful.

Hunger Pains, The Modern Woman's Tragic Quest for Thinness
by Mary Pipher, Ph.D. 1995

Insight on how society encourages female misery and how that same society keeps us from accepting our looks, however that is. That society creates a drive in many women to become a new and different person, through controlling the size of her body in numbers with food.

The Body Project
Joan Jacobs Brumberg 1997

The author uses diaries from young girls to report on the adolescent experience from the 19th Century through the 20th Century. Joan Brumberg examines how that experience has changed and how it is a troubling experience to try to join the adult world no matter what the era. Excellent social historical perspective in how we might understand ourselves better.

Women Afraid to Eat: Breaking Free in Today's Weight-Obsessed World
by Frances Berg

The author, Frances Berg, is a nutritionist who backs her arguments with detailed research. She believes that dieting undermines self-esteem, can lead to eating disorders and rarely works to promote health and maintain weight loss. Berg offers techniques to counter societal forces that pressure women to obsessively worry about their weight. She provides practical ways to achieve a healthy weight through physical activity and eating a balanced diet.

Too Fat Or Too Thin; A Reference Guide To Eating Disorders
By Cynthia R. Kalodner, PhD., Published 2003, Greenwood Publishing Group

With all the conflicting (and just plain wrong) information about eating disorders that one sees today, this book contains information and guidelines in addition to replacing myths and misconceptions with the facts. The author notes that there is a continuum of eating disorders (ED), and focuses on the range of not otherwise specified eating disorders, including binge disorders, which can be as serious as anorexia and bulimia in some important ways.

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EMOTIONAL ABUSE

Prisoners of Childhood: The Drama of the Gifted Child and the Search for the True Self
by Alice Miller, New York: Basic Books, 1981

Alice Miller has written a wonderful and powerful book about the dilemma of children who grow up with parents who had experienced emotional hurt and/or deprivation from their own parents. We often tend to think that the emotional injuries suffered by children occur only in an environment of parental malice, but unfortunately that is not the case. Often, as Dr. Miller so eloquently and poignantly portrays, a parent's emotional inadequacies, deficiencies, insecurities, injuries, and incomplete emotional and psychological development are unconsciously passed on to or perpetrated upon their children. She draws upon historical figures, such as Adolph Hitler, case studies that are well known in the psychoanalytic literature such as The Wolf Man, and figures from literature and mythology to illustrate her points. She frequently focuses on issues concerning physical and sexual abuse, but she clearly recognizes and asserts how childhood experiences of psychological and emotional hurts can be just as damaging, even when those hurts and injuries may have been inflicted unconsciously and even when their purveyor may have had the best of intentions.

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FINANCES

Money Therapy
by Deborah L. Price 2000

This unusual book is an integration of sound psychological principles and spiritual beliefs woven into the author's extensive knowledge of financial planning, helping the reader to understand their relationship to money,and to grow in both consciousness and prosperity.

MONEY MAGIC: Unleashing your True Potential for Prosperity and Fulfillment
b y Deborah L. Price

New World Library 2003

As an update to her earlier book, this easily readable volume offers methods for understanding one’s relationship with money, helping to calm money anxieties and overcome lifelong money issues.

NICE GIRLS DON’T GET RICH: 75 Avoidable Mistakes Women Make with Money
by Lois P. Frankel, Ph.D.

Described as “a fresh look at how women think about money,” the author deals with the reasons women often have difficulty dealing with their finances, while offering concrete suggestions to help them take charge of spending and investing.

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GAY AND LESBIAN ISSUES

The Heart's Progress, A Memoir
by Claudia Bepko

The first person memoir of a lesbian who struggles with her sexual orientation and finally is able to move from an identity that was never who she truly was, to a life where she feels the freedom to be herself.

Family Outing
by Chastity Bono

This is a comprehensive guide to the coming out process. Chastity Bono is the daughter of Sonny and Cher. She shares her own experiences and struggles with coming out as well as providing very useful information for others who are going through this difficult process.

Coming Out to Parents: A Two-Way Survival Guide for Lesbians and Gay Men and Their Parents.
by Mary V. Borhek

This excellent guide is for any individual who is struggling with the fears and misgiving accompanying the coming out process. It provides suggestions on how and when to come out, what reactions to expect, and how to deal with the awkwardness that follows. The book also helps parents deal with the natural feelings of grief and loss that can arise during this revelation. It shows how understanding, compassion and insight can lead to even deeper love between parent and child.

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GERONTOLOGY

The Shelter of Each Other
by M. Pipher, New York: Ballentine Books, 1997

In this work Dr. Pipher helps us open our eyes to the realities we might be facing about family conflicts and shows us a way out. Pipher presents a path to the energy and strength at the core of family life.

Another Country: Navigating the Emotional Terrain of Our Elders
by M. Pipher, New York: Riverhead Books, 1999

The author comments, "Helping an aging parent gives you a chance to become a real grown-up". "Large...problems can be changed by ordinary people doing small things."

Living Beyond Loss
by Walsh, F. and McGoldrick, New York: Norton, 1991

A comment from the book jacket states, "In their opening chapters the editors present a multigenerational developmental perspective on the impact of loss on families. Rather than regarding events surrounding a family death as pathological causes of disorder, they view them as normative transitions in the family life cycle that carry the potential for growth and development, as well as for immediate distress or long-term dysfunction."

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GRIEF

Grieving Mindfully: A Compassionate and Spiritual Guide to Coping with Loss.
By Sameet M. Kumar, Ph.D.
New Harbringer Publications, Inc., 2005

As the title leads us to expect, this volume offers support and justification for a spiritual approach to, and is a comforting and mindful path through, grief and loss.

Nothing Was The Same, A Memoir
By Kay Redfield Jamison
Vintage Books, 2011

This unusual memoir of Kay R.Jamison is first a love story, then an account of the many emotions she experienced as her beloved husband's illness results in his death. Most enlightening is the distinction she makes between mourning and mental illness.

Beyond Grief: A Guide for Recovering from the Death of a Loved One
by Carol Staudacher

This book describes the process of grief and the stages of recovery. It is reassuring when experiencing the intense emotions following the death of a loved one to know that you have a resource to help you through the process. There are chapters on the surviving the loss of a spouse, parent, child, and on surviving a suicide or murder.

Widow
by Lynn Caine, 1974

This is a personal memoir written by a young widow. It describes not only the grief and trauma of widowhood but also the recovery and growth.

Helping Children Grieve: When Someone They Love Dies
by Theresa Huntley

This short and easy to read book will help a parent understand the ways that children at different ages understand death and experience grief. It offers useful advice on how to listen to children, answer their questions and guide them through the feelings surrounding the loss.

The Loss that is Forever
by Maxine Harris, PhD
New York: Penguin Books, 1996

This book is a clear explanation of the psychological issues that accompany the death of a parent before a child reaches adulthood.

Recovering After Loss: Dealing With Death, Divorce, And Other Losses
By Bob Deits

Since loss is a universal experience, and considering that every marriage either ends in death or divorce, every career has an end, and that the aging process is inevitable, the very fact of being alive binds us all in this experience. Yet in our culture, we don’t seem to want to think or talk about it. From both personal and professional experiences, this therapist’s work with grief has provided a sensitive road map to navigate life’s biggest challenges.
(Reviewed by Sandy Plone, Ph.D.)

The Soul in Grief: Love, Death and Transformation
By Robert Romanyshyn

Thomas Moore, who wrote the forward to this emotional tale, labeled it “a work of art, and love, concentrated on the soul”, not a book of information. The author is a cultural healer who holds our grief, and through sharing his lyricism and depth of mourning, he sings us into moments when we can embrace the world again. With a Jungian perspective, this is an uplifting story of unimaginable grief and beautiful renewal.
(Reviewed by Sandy Plone, Ph.D.)

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HOMEWORK

How to Do Homework Without Throwing Up
by Trevor Romain
Free Spirit Publishing

An amusing little book for children 5 to 10 or 11 year old. The book contains hints and encouragement for children who do not like to do homework. The jokes and cartoons will keep the kids interested and help sweeten the medicine of such suggestions as making a homework schedule, getting tutoring and avoiding T.V.-Homework-Neck.

They Can But They Don't
by Jerome Bruns
Penguin Books

Jerome Bruns explores the kind of kids and parents that tend to become involved in power struggles over homework. He provides information, advice and suggestions about how to improve motivation to do homework and avoid mistakes parents make when trying to help their children with this problem.

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INSOMNIA

No More Sleepless Nights
by Peter Hauri, Ph.D. and Shirley Linde, Ph.D.

A comprehensive description of sleep and the lack thereof. This book provides the most up-to-date methods for conquering insomnia in a systematic and reader-friendly style.

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INTERNET ADDICTION

Caught in the Net: How to Recognize the Signs of Internet Addiction and a Winning Strategy for Recovery
by Kimberly S. Young

Dr. Young is the first to write a book on this new form of psychological addiction which has begun to impact couples, families and individuals. She also has a website with lots of information on this subject at www.netaddiction.com. The book offers descriptions of different types of internet addictions and the consequences for couples, families and individuals. It offers some advice on how to kick the habit.

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LEARNING DISABILITY

ADHD and Educational Psychology Suggested Readings
by Alan M. Solomon, Ph.D.

Amen, Daniel, G. (2000) Change Your Brain, Change Your Life. New York: Three Rivers Press.

Healy, J.M. (1999), Endangered Minds. New York: Touchstone Books.
Your Child's Growing Mind: A Parent's Guide to Learning from Birth to Adolescence. New York: Doubleday.

Levine, M.D. (1991) Keeping A Head in School: A Student's Book About Learning Abilities and Learning Disorders. Cambridge: Educators Publishing Service.

Levine, M.D. (1992). All Kinds of Minds: A Young Student's Book About Learning Abilities and Learning Disorders. Cambridge: Educators Publishing Service.

Osman, B.B. (1990). Learning Disabilities: A Family Affair. New York. Warner Books.

Smith, S.L. (1998). No Easy Answers: The Learning Disabled Child at Home and at School. New York: Bantam Books.

Stewart, K. (2002). Helping a Child with Nonverbal Learning Disorder or Asperger's Syndrome (A parent's guide). Oakland, CA: New Harbinger Publications, Inc.

Vail, P.L. & Skladal, L. (1990). About Dyslexia. Rosemont, NJ: Modern Learning Press.

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LIFE TRANSITIONS

Ready or Not, Here Life Comes
By Mel Levine, M.D.
Review by Susan Harper Slate, Ph.D.

This book is for parents, educators and young adults. He explores why so many young people stall before starting their adult lives, and demonstrates how they can get back on track. He terms this phenomenon “work-life unreadiness”. He demonstrates ways parents and schools can better prepare children to launch into adulthood.

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The Lost Art of Listening:

 How Learning to Listen Can Improve Relationships
By Michael P. Nichols

This highly recommended book is an exploration of why people don’t hear one another. The author sheds light on what keeps many of us from really listening, showing how empathic listening enables us to break through conflict and transform relationships.

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MARRIAGE

The Good Marriage; How and Why Love Lasts
by Judith Wallerstein and Sandra Blakslee

Judith Wallerstein has is a respected researcher in the field of marriage and divorce. She has used her considerable talents to investigate the question of what makes a marriage work. Her book illuminates the qualities of lasting and happy marriages. She describes the natural stages of marriage and the nine tasks needed to make a good marriage.

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MEDITATION

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
by Thieh Nhat Hanh

In the rush of modern life, we tend to lose touch with the peace that is available in each moment. World-renowned Zen master and spiritual leader, Tich Nhat Hanh shows us how to make positive use of the situations that usually pressure and antagonize us. A very useful book.

Wherever You Go, There You Are: Mindful Meditation in Everyday Life
by Jon Kabat-Zinn

Jon Kabat-Zinn makes meditation accessible to the western mind. His simple and eloquent instructions guide you to a place where mind and body unite and serenity becomes possible.

Buddha's Nature; Evolution as a Practical Guide to Enlightenment
by Wes Nisker

Wes Nisker attempts to integrate Buddhist philosophy with discoveries in science and biology. He succeeds is elucidating both the wisdom of this ancient understanding of human nature and the discoveries of neural and evolutionary science. This book will expand the focus of your meditation practice.

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MEN'S ISSUES

Iron John: A Book About Men
by Robert Bly

Dr. Bly discusses the need of men in our culture for mentors and teachers to guide them into adulthood and to help them develop fully their masculinity. He describes this process through the tale of "Iron John" a Grimm brothers story from the early nineteenth century.

While I am Not Afraid; Secrets of a Man's Heart
by Peter Clothier

A compelling and intimate journey into the unexplored recesses of one man's soul. When Peter's daughter becomes caught in the gripes of a debilitating mental illness (anorexia nervosa)the author has to face not only the challenge of nurturing his daughter back to health but also some difficult truths about himself. His honest self-examination through the Warrior Monk organization and meditation help him to help his daughter and himself.

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MENOPAUSE

New Passages: Mapping Your Life Across Time
by Gail Sheehy

Gail Sheehy makes us aware that we have the ability to customize our lives as we have increasingly more time to do so. She describes how we are able to fashion a second adulthood for ourselves after fifty.

The Silent Passage
by Gail Sheehy

This was one of the first lay books to describe menopause as a normal part of the cycle of life and to provide women with important medical, psychological and physical information about this process.

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MIND/BODY

Talking Back to Prozac
by Peter R. Breggin, M.D.

A look at the real story behind this current drug, offering information about side effects, possible addiction, and history of FDA approval. This is the other side of the biochemical debate, as the author is a medical critic of biological psychiatry.

The Mindbody Prescription
By Dr. John Sarno

Dr.Sarno describes how emotions influence and may cause illness, explaining the mindbody connection and psychogenic pain. In addition to discussing how back pain may be healed, Dr. Sarno also addresses other ailments that may be caused by stifled emotions.

Healing and The Mind
By Bill Moyers

This companion volume to the PBS series explores the healing connection between our minds and our bodies. Conversations are presented which take the reader into a wide variety of healing facilities, as one learns how advances in mind/body medicine are applied in differing healing communities.

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NARCISSISM

Trapped in the Mirror:Adult Children of Narcissists in Their Struggle for Self
by Elan Golomb, Ph.D.

This book accurately and chillingly describes the damaging effects that a narcissistic person can have on those closest to them. It is directed at adults who were raised by narcissistic parents. But it is equally relevant to partners of narcissists and others who have maintained close relationships with narcissistic individuals. It helps people understand the confusion and frustration they feel when relating to a person who has this disorder.

The Drama of the Gifted Child:The Search for the True Self
by Alice Miller

A beautiful book that poignantly describes the child's loss of the true self to the needs of the narcissistic parent who finds the child's differences threatening and/or disappointing. The author attempts to guide the reader to begin the journey to the discovery of the true self and the integration of a self that encompasses the whole person.

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OBSESSIVE COMPULSIVE DISORDER

Working ourselves to death: The High Costs of Workaholism and the Rewards of Recovery
by Diane Fassel
San Francisco: Harper, 1990

Just Checking: Scenes from the Life of an Obsessive-Compulsive
by Emily Colas

Emily Colas first person account of what it is like to have obsessive compulsive disorder is written with humor and pathos. Through vignettes of her life as a wife and full time mom she describes the symptoms and the consequences of living in the grip of this disorder.

The OCD Workbook: Your Guide to Breaking Free from Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder
by Bruce Hyman, Ph.D. and Cherry Pedrick, R.N.

This is an excellent self-directed program that assists sufferers of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorders through behavioral and cognitive techniques that can reduce symptoms. It also helps families break the pattern of enabling. It is an excellent adjunct to psychotherapy for this disorder.

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PARENTING

Your Child's Emotional Health: the Early Years
by the Philadelphia Child Guidance Center

This informative book for parents concentrates on describing the emotional development of children from birth to six years old.

Birth of A Self in Adulthood
by Dorothea McArthur, Ph.D.
New Jersey: Jason Aronson, 1996

This book is written for educated lay public, patients and therapists. It is about children who have been rewarded for failure and punished for success. Therefore they experience difficulty leaving home.

They Can But They Don't
by Jerome Bruins
New York: Penguin Books, 1992

This is a helpful book for parents who have children who are not doing homework for reasons other than hyperactivity and learning difficulties.

The Shelter of Each Other
by Mary Pipher, Ph.D.
New York: Ballantine Books, 1996.

A very good book in terms of giving multiple directions to parents for the purpose of rebuilding family time together in a fast-paced society with dual working parents.

I'm On Your Side
by Jane Nelson and Lynn Lott
Rocklin Ca: Prima Publishing and Communications, 1990.

A very good nonadvesarial and respectful way to deal with your teen in a way that focuses on long term goals rather than immediate outcomes.

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PROCRASTINATION

Creative Procrastination - Organizing Your Own Life
by Frieda Porat, Ph.D.

Published in 1980, this small volume promises to help busy people find a balance between periods of productivity and periods of relaxation, insisting that "time management is of no value unless it frees time for the human side of life". It offers guidelines and exercises to change basic attitudes for both personal and professional areas, designating the program as a holistic way to achieve freedom from stress.

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PSYCHOTHERAPY

Cutting for Stone
by Abraham Verghese, MD

This is a thoroughly engaging first novel by a talented writer, who is a powerful story-teller focused on the Indian diaspora in Ethiopia. Besides the compelling story, Verghese weaves in Ethiopian history, Indian culture, family relationships, and the challenges of immigration. For our mission on this website, he brings to life the essential nature of healing relationships in moving, poetic, inspirational ways. Not only a “good read,” this book enriches and touches the reader in ways that will stay with you afterwards.

Another Country: a Doctor’s Story
by Abraham Verghese, MD

Verghese’s first book tells the story of his providing medical care to the first AIDS patients identified in a small, rural town in Eastern Tennessee in the mid-1980s. With available medical care being so very limited, he focuses on the human experiences of his patients and his relationships with them. A moving, beautifully written first-hand account of how powerful healing relationships can be, even in the application of limited medical tools to relieve suffering and ameliorate symptoms. The undeniable impact on the healer himself is disclosed as well. The seeds of his later novel are clearly being developed in this excellent book.

The Road Less Traveled
by M. Scott Peck

A helpful book for individuals who want to understand a little about how psychotherapy works and why it may be valuable to make a journey of self discovery.

Forgiveness: How to Make Peace with Your Life and Get on with Your Life
by Drs. Sidney and Suzanne Simon
New York: Warner Brothers, 1990

A good book for letting go of past wrongs that have been done to you.

Views From the Real World
by G.I. Gurdjieff
Arkana Penguin Books, 1984

This is a fascinating series of brief presentations by a Russian-born philosopher/mystic that introduce the reader to a view of becoming a more whole, integrated person. Made in the 1920's, these presentations are still stimulating, intriguing, and of interest to those who think about themselves as on a developmental mission that is life-long. Great reading for enrichment.

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RAPE

Recovering from Rape
by Linda E. Ledray, Ph.D.

Women who have been raped often don't receive the help they need to recover from this traumatic experience. This book provides both psychological and practical advice. It can be an important part of an individual's personal recovery.

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RELATIONSHIPS

After the Affair: Healing the Pain and Rebuilding Trust When a Partner Has Been Unfaithful
by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.

Dr. Spring gives a comprehensive view of how to cope with the pain and rebuild the trust and intimacy in a relationship that has been broken by infidelity. She offers strategies that help reduce the blame and recrimination and focus on each partner working individually and together to repair the relationship.

The Dance of Intimacy
by Harriet Goldhor Lerner, Ph.D.

Dr. Lerner emphasizes the importance of developing and maintaining a strong sense of self in relationships. She describes various ways in which individuals develop dysfunctional interactions with intimate partners. She attempts to help individuals understand and let go of these ineffective patterns of relating.

Men Are from Mars; Women are from Venus; A Practical Guide for Improving Communication and Getting What You Want in Your Relationships
by John Gray, Ph.D.

This very popular book describes the different ways that men and woman think, feel and behave in relationships. Many couples have found it helpful in delineating differences so that they no longer have to blame each other for being different. Rather they can work through problems with greater acceptance and understanding of each other.

The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work
by John Gottman, Ph.D. and Nan Silver

Advice on what makes a marriage work. They list seven principles to a successful marriage.

Struggle for Intimacy
by Janet G. Woititz

Growing up in a family that is dysfunctional due to addictions or other problems leaves children with survival skills that protect them from disappointment in relationships. Thus the trust necessary for intimacy is not adequate. This book helps people recognize what is needed to achieve intimacy. While it is not a solution, it can help start the process of learning to trust.

Why Marriages Succeed or Fail; And How You Can Make Yours Last
by John Gottman, Ph.D.

An excellent description of the factors that create marital stability and instability based on 20 years of research with over 2000 married couples. Dr. Gottman provides assessment tools and practical advice for couples whose marriages are in trouble.

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RELOCATION

So You're Going Overseas
by J. Stewart Black, Ph.D. & Hal B. Gregersen, Ph.D.
Global Business Publishers; 1998

Moving Your Family Overseas
by Rosalind Kalb & Penelope Welch
Intercultural Press, Inc.; 1992

Women's Guide to Overseas Living
by Nancy J. Piet-Pelon & Barbara Hornby
Intercultural Press, Inc.; 1992

Capitalizing of the Global Workforce
by Michael S. Scheel & Charlene Marmer S. Solomon
Irwin Professional Publishing; 1997

The Art of Crossing Cultures
by Craig Storti
Intercultural Press, Inc.; 1989

Helpful information for families and individuals who are relocating.

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SELF-ESTEEM

The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem
by Nathaniel Branden, 1994

This author is well-known for his seminal work in the area of self-esteem, having written extensively about the subject and offered workshops and seminars for some time. The exercises for building self-esteem are thoughtful and provocative, and the thoroughness of definitions and emphasis on childhood, education and culture in regard to issues of self-esteem are valuable.

Your Child's Self-Esteem
by Dorothy Corkille Briggs, 1965

While probably out of print and only available in libraries, this guideline for raising children with a healthy sense of self is invaluable, and has stood the test of time. It is a classic for parents. The author understands and communicates the real basis of emotional health and mental growth.

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SELF MUTILATION

Women Who Hurt Themselves
by Dusty Miller, Basic Books, 1994

In this book, Miller presents a new diagnostic category that she calls Trauma Reenactment Syndrome (TRS), which refers to a constellation of behaviors and relationship patterns that she sees as being frequently occurring among women who grew up being physically or sexually abused, emotionally or psychologically violated, or neglected. Her book is rich with personal stories and clinical vignettes that illustrate the psychological pain and suffering of the childhood of these women. She also presents her experiences with these women as adults and how they struggle together with those early experiences, the symptoms that have resulted from those traumas, and the ways those symptoms reflect that early life experience by presenting a kind of reenactment of it.

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SEXUALITY

For Yourself: The Fulfillment of Female Sexuality
by Lonnie Garfield Barbach

For Yourself answers questions about female sexuality that many women are afraid to ask. It helps women to discover their sexuality and encourages them not to be afraid to be sexual beings.

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SEXUAL MOLESTATION AND INCEST

Betrayal of Innocence
by Susan Forward, Ph.D.

A small book on a very important topic that is a good first read for someone who has just begun to be willing to explore the impact of sexual molestation on themselves or a loved one.

The Courage to Heal
by Ellen Bass

An ambitious book that attempts to provide the reader with a comprehensive description of the impact of sexual molestation on all aspects of the person.

Men Surviving Incest: A Male Survivor Shares the Process of Recovery
by T. Thomas
Launch Press, Rockville Maryland, 1990

Victims No Longer, Men Recovering from Incest and Other Sexual Child Abuse
by Mike Lew
HarperCollins, New York, 1990

These two book may be mostly available in libraries. They are some of the first written specifically for male survivors who have their own unique set of issues arising for abuse and molestation.

Shining Through, Pulling it Together
by Leslie Bailey Wright and Mindy Loiselle
Safer Society Press, Orwell, Vermont, 1994

This book is one of the few written especially for teenage survivors.

Strong at the Broken Places: Overcoming the Trauma of Childhood Abuse
by Linda Sanford, Random House, New York, 1990

Twenty case studies of survivors.

Trust After Trauma: A Guide to Relationships for Survivors and Those Who Love Them
by Aphrodite Matsakis
New Harbinger Books, Oakland, CA, 1998

When You Are a Partner of a Rape or Incest Survivor: A Workbook for You
by Robert Barry Levine
Resource Publications, San Jose. CA, 1996

When Your Child Has Been Molested: A Parent's Guide to Healing and Recovery: Putting the Pieces Back Together
by Kathryn B. Hagans and Joyce Case
Jossey-Bass, San Francisco, CA, 1988

These books provide guidance for those who want to help survivors in their recovery.

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STRESS REDUCTION

Don't Sweat the Small Stuff
By Richard Carlson Ph.D.; Paperback, Hyperion Press, 1997

In a thoughtful manner, Dr. Carlson gives ideas on how to keep life in perspective. Commercial in many ways, but it offers many helpful day to day suggestions on reducing stress. The book helps you clarify what is important and what is less important in making each day meaningful.

Full Catastrophe Living; Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness
By Jon Kabat-Zinn, Ph.D.

This is a wise and wonderful guide to using mindful meditation and awareness to reduce pain, stress and the effects of illness in your life. The suggestions in this book involve changes in perspective that can heal the body, the mind and the spirit.

Guided Imagery for Groups: Fifty Visualizations
By Andrew E. Schwartz

This book contains 50 visualizations that promote relaxation, problem solving, creativity, and well-being. There is a discussion of the value of these guided images and some basic information on relaxation techniques and their usefulness to relieve stress. Guided imagery is a tool in managing stress, changing attitudes, unleashing creativity, improving the ability to relax and activating an individual's capacity for self healing. This book can be helpful as part of a stress reduction program.

Healthy Pleasures
By Robert Ornstein, Ph.D. and David Sobel; Paperback, 1990

Dr. Ornstein is a psychologist-brain researcher. The book contains many suggestions on how to improve your enjoyment in life, including eating in small amounts some of what might be considered "guilty pleasures." He explains that eliminating these pleasures damages our health much more than occasional indulgences. The authors also discuss the importance of physical contact, doing things for others, and a variety of other means to improve the quality of our lives.

Peace Is Every Step: The Path of Mindfulness in Everyday Life
By Thieh Nhat Hanh

In the rush of modern life, we tend to lose touch with the peace that is available in each moment. World-renowned Zen master and spiritual leader, Tich Nhat Hanh shows us how to make positive use of the situations that usually pressure and antagonize us. A very useful book.

The Relaxation Response
By Herbert Benson, M.D. and Miriam Z. Klipper; Paperback, 2000

Dr. Benson is from Harvard University. He demonstrates that relaxation techniques such as meditation have immense physical benefits, from lowered blood pressure to a reduction in heart disease. His book includes examples of simply ways to reduce stress through meditation without needing an expensive class. The book has a rational scientific feel to it. It can be very helpful.

The Relaxation and Stress Reduction Workbook
By Martha Davis, Ph.D., Matthew McKay, Ph.D.
and Elizabeth Eshelman, M.S.W

A self-help workbook that takes you through many of the best and most effective techniques for reducing stress and promoting well-being.

Positive Energy: 10 extraordinary prescriptions for transforming fatigue, stress & fear into vibrance, strength & love
By Judith Orloff, M.D.

Dr. Orloff is a psychiatrist and an energy expert, and with this book has provided a journey through the mysteries of energy. This positive energy program is a prescription to help one live a more vibrant life;
It is filled with complete instructions for transforming fatigue, stress and fear into positive energy.

Six Seconds To True Calm
By Robert Simon Siegel, M.S.

The approach provided in this book to manage stress is a simple enlightened technique which can enable anyone to learn how to transform stress into dynamic wellness. This author has tapped into tools which are potential “thriving skills for 21st century living.”

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WOMEN'S ISSUES

Toward a New Psychology of Women
by Jean Baker Miller, M.D.

This valuable little book will help women understand the origins of their self-image problems. It encourages women to value themselves and their special contributions to society and their families. It explains how insecurities were bred into women and then rationalized by classic psychoanalysis.

Women Who Run with the Wolves: Myths and Stories of the Wild Woman Archetype
by Clarissa Pinkola Estes, Ph.D.

A book of stories and myths about women's need to recover repressed and split off aspects of the self in order to live fully as whole and integrated people. Women, as the stories reveal, need to accept all their strengths including those that have been traditionally repressed in a society that does not encourage women to be strong and independent.

Women's Health Women's Bodies, Women's Wisdom: Creating Physical and Emotional Health and Healing
by Christiane Northrup, MD

Joan Borysenko, Ph.D. wrote about Dr. Northrup's book, it "is a gateway to the deepest understanding of health and well-being. Dr. Northrup restores the spiritual to the medical, facilitating the understanding and confidence that every woman needs in order to create a healthy body and a fulfilled life." An excellent reference book, as well as, fascinating reading for any woman.

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VOCATIONAL

What Color is My Parachute
by Richard Nelson Bolles

An excellent guide to changing careers and finding a job. It is updated yearly and has been in print since 1984.

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