Some questions that I think are important in starting to develop a Parenting Journal are taken from Eileen Paris and Thomas Paris book “I’ll Never Do To My Kids What My Parents Did To Me!” These are questions that get you to think about your own past childhood experiences and whether you are passing on a legacy of your own hurt and emotional harm to your children. The hurt and harm that were caused to you.
The questions listed here are not exhaustive and Eileen Paris and Thomas Paris in their book previously mentioned, list many more questions, but at least this list can help get you started in understanding you own past childhood experiences and how these past childhood experiences impact on the current relationship with your child. As you gain more of an understanding of your own past childhood experiences, Thomas Paris and Eileen Paris go on to describe how you can develop and use a Parenting Journal to record continual or regular parent-child conflicts that upset or aggravate you. In the Parenting Journal, you first write the specific incident that leads you to be upset with your child. Secondly, you write the injury or emotional experience that you currently observe in yourself, i.e. Did you feel not listened to? Did you feel ignored? Did you feel that your child did not value your opinion? etc.. Finally you rate that injury from 1 to 10 depending on the level of impact or emotional intensity that experience had on you. 1 is mild or minor while a 10 would be extremely intense.
back to psych bytes
Copyright Independent Psychotherapy Network ©1998-2011