Here is a simple set of statements developed by two adult attachment researchers that identify different styles of adult attachment. Hazan and Shaver used these statements to classify a group of adult subjects into three attachment styles; secure, anxious/ambivalent, and avoidant. Two-thirds of all subjects who took the quiz fell into the category of secure attachment the remaining one-third were evenly divided between anxious/ambivalent and avoidant. The individuals in the secure category were more satisfied with their intimate relationships and more trusting of others. They tended to date the same person for longer periods of time. Subjects classified as anxious/ambivalent reported greater distress, anger and anxiety in their dating relationships. They fell in love quickly but became preoccupied with the availability and responsiveness of the partner. They were often very jealous. Avoidant respondents were afraid of intimacy and tended to be pessimistic about love. They had problems communicating effectively and also tended to be jealous. Their relationships were often short term.

"I find it relatively easy to get close to others and am comfortable depending on them and having them depend on me. I donąt often worry about being abandoned or about someone getting too close to me." (Secure)

"I am somewhat uncomfortable being close to others; I find it difficult to trust them completely, difficult to allow myself to depend on them. I am nervous when anyone gets too close, and often, love partners want me to be more intimate than I feel comfortable being." (Avoidant)

I find that others are reluctant to get as close as I would like. I often worry that my partner doesnąt really love me or won't want to stay with me. I want to merge completely with another person and this desire sometimes scares people away." (Anxious/ambivalent)

The author of this article, and founder of the Therapyinla.com website, Joyce Parker, passed away in 2011. To honor her we are keeping her articles posted at this website.